@chanelfiIth like wow... the perfect intelligent drunk boyfriend of my dreams might walk into my life sooner than i planned.

stolen from the motherland

@arminizewithme I need to be drunk homosexual Wallace and seduce best man Avi/ Steven Stone with a cool rock

Illinois

RT @mrgoodbeard__: Barnes & Noble selling alcohol and full menus....drunk convos about books, lit.

princessville

RT @arvlez: A drunk me is a fun me 😂 I automatically become friends con todo el mundo 💀😂

home

@ant_fran @Giants @Seahawks Not a Giants fan, but they would be silly not to make that move.. Russ, Barkley and Ing… https://t.co/TgMSfvPQj0

New Jersey, USA

YAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS !!!!!! U better go head Nai !!!! Now I’m def getting drunk this weekend. Cheers to u ! https://t.co/7LLhak6X8H

Unknown

RT @cottoncandaddy: drunk girls at bars: ok, listen britney, it is britney right? ok listen britney. you. are a GODDESS. you're too good fo…

RT @Jaiden_Irven: nothing pisses me off more than when someone says they’re a “good drunk driver”

RT @willtoresist: On the big stage, the US CONSTITUTION draws migrants but beeeto wants to replace it with his socialist bullshit. Fat ch…

Texas, USA

Lol who drinking beer to get drunk 😂 in the first place 🧐😂👏🏼 https://t.co/yEVvuLmdk7

RT @Biscogetem: Niggas think they can get pussy off gettin a shawty drunk or high. Fuckin rapist

@Royalti___ You gone be drunk bitch? 😂

Cincinnati, OH

@ldollar17 Drunk bitch 😂

region

@UnBeatable_Derp @lucas7yoshi_ Your actually fucking drunk

Camille was done with Dorit after her drunk shit at that one dinner PERIOD! Camille will give you one time to disre… https://t.co/0zteQA1cIe

Indianapolis

Drunk as fuck if you think this okay https://t.co/tiPVV30oMO

Ruston, LA

RT @olivia_whyley: I honestly chat so much shit when I’m drunk I spend the next few days afterwards cringing about the things I say

Argentina

RT @litlikecholo: If you’re drunk text me, if you’re high text me, if YOU ARE AT A PARTY text me. All bullshit aside i just wanna know that…

RT @litlikecholo: If you’re drunk text me, if you’re high text me, if YOU ARE AT A PARTY text me. All bullshit aside i just wanna know that…

miamii ♡♡

I’m very drunk and alone and at a drag queen beauty pageant and every sparkly dress reminds me of Taylor I truly li… https://t.co/yyp4msynwm

ireland / manhattan, new york

i wish i was drunk these lil drinks ain’t doing shit but making me light headed 🥴

Benito Juárez

2 days????!!! She killed someone for being drunk. Meanwhile...people still serving time for weed. I don’t get this… https://t.co/rTp1y1R9uw

Houston, Tx

A drunk driver reported another driver for driving drunk. When police showed up, they were both arrested. You canno… https://t.co/MxCJQjHJ6D

Washington DC

@tiaundrac ASDFGHJKL me throwing up in a tidepool alone this summer when I got way too tequila drunk at 1pm

Hell

RT @marielorbgso: my boyfriend’s mom is so damn cute when she’s drunk ☹️😩💖 feel so blessed 😭😢💕 https://t.co/voeZUn1XgW

RT @kelsie_morgan4: 22 is such a weird age scrolling through social media like oh shit she’s pregnant. Oh shit they are getting married. Oh…

RT @Chicks: If you’re so drunk that you mistake cigarettes for french fries, it’s time to go home (Via ig/604culture) https://t.co/R9GCHRK4…

Pennsylvania, USA

RT @dirtyIiar: Okay so like WHO the FUCK decided it was cool to go out at like 10/11?? Why can’t we all just get drunk at like 8? Why do I…

Canada

Cause I spent the night dancing, I'm drunk I suppose. If it looks like I'm laughing. I'm really just asking to leave this alone.

México

RT @PoliceBadBoy: Stop giving out advice on Twitter. Get drunk or get laid and STFU. Me as a therapist*

So Cal

RT @dirtyIiar: Okay so like WHO the FUCK decided it was cool to go out at like 10/11?? Why can’t we all just get drunk at like 8? Why do I…

RT @andrewbarber88: So the drunk driver who hit me go zero jail time. S/O Delaware country prosecutor way to drop the ball. I have never fe…

I’m gonna do the accent challenge when I’m drunk because the Carolina comes tf out to plaaaaay when I’m drinking.

Baltimore, MD

listening to my best friend drunk fighting with google home has been the funniest shit ever dude

{unknown}

RT @dirtyIiar: Okay so like WHO the FUCK decided it was cool to go out at like 10/11?? Why can’t we all just get drunk at like 8? Why do I…

Houston, TX

RT @dirtyIiar: Okay so like WHO the FUCK decided it was cool to go out at like 10/11?? Why can’t we all just get drunk at like 8? Why do I…

ksu | kansas

RT @dirtyIiar: Okay so like WHO the FUCK decided it was cool to go out at like 10/11?? Why can’t we all just get drunk at like 8? Why do I…

Florida, USA

RT @dirtyIiar: Okay so like WHO the FUCK decided it was cool to go out at like 10/11?? Why can’t we all just get drunk at like 8? Why do I…

NBK

twitter you are drunk https://t.co/fcbns2C1G6

27 | he | usa | 🏳️‍🌈

RT @_NickCruise: Nobody: ...when you drunk headed to the bathroom and a banger starts playing https://t.co/6jRGNubVlu

ferg

RT @JustInNotOut: Got drunk last night and made mac & cheese. Because I’m an adult. https://t.co/TtBBFhJiEK

New Jersey, USA

When I was 16 I floated down the river, drunk, in a blow-up kiddie pool that eventually popped and we almost drowne… https://t.co/GupjmWpy8h

Southern Indiana 🌾

RT @CerromeRussell: I'm gon get drunk and shout James Baldwin quotes at white people https://t.co/iOEyX3W3gA

Bay Area

@megan_mowrer311 every time she’s drunk she breaks something

@traylmix_ Are you drunk?

Is Jake drunk? Pass accuracy isn’t close this period.

Philadelphia

lmaooooo this basically me when im drunk https://t.co/6ZqgHGwa0y

Honduras | Bompton | ATX

RT @ScienceBorealis: New post #fromthefeed A neuroscientist gets drunk to explain alcohol’s effects on the brain https://t.co/C6NiNUcNKq

RT @JustInNotOut: Got drunk last night and made mac & cheese. Because I’m an adult. https://t.co/TtBBFhJiEK

in dat pwussy

RT @TheComedyHumor: How drunk did you get this weekend? https://t.co/UZn9PHawS0

Florida, USA

RT @CerromeRussell: I'm gon get drunk and shout James Baldwin quotes at white people https://t.co/iOEyX3W3gA

RT @rupinjapan: Trying to get your drunk friend into an Uber https://t.co/vNYaYbVocW

Treasure Island, FL

RT @CerromeRussell: I'm gon get drunk and shout James Baldwin quotes at white people https://t.co/iOEyX3W3gA

@seanhannity @BetoORourke I think repeat DRUNK DRIVING offenses are his biggest accomplishments.

Texas, USA

RT @spaghettiinbed: lmaooo my roommate drunk as f*ck on the news ... “the heritage really jumped out” https://t.co/NJ2KDuH4RI

Texas, USA

RT @alexzuniga2000: If you say something while you’re drunk, you wanted to say it while you were sober 🤔

RT @JustInNotOut: Got drunk last night and made mac & cheese. Because I’m an adult. https://t.co/TtBBFhJiEK

RT @_NickCruise: Nobody: ...when you drunk headed to the bathroom and a banger starts playing https://t.co/6jRGNubVlu

@chelseahandler Chelsea, you do not speak for all of the women in America. Check that. Maybe the drunk leftwing segment.

Must be drunk.. https://t.co/8wnRYwJAC8

Debo's Piegon Coop...

RT @JustInNotOut: Got drunk last night and made mac & cheese. Because I’m an adult. https://t.co/TtBBFhJiEK

Raleigh, NC

RT @CerromeRussell: I'm gon get drunk and shout James Baldwin quotes at white people https://t.co/iOEyX3W3gA

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RT @astoldbymila: 2 minutes into talking to any drunk girl in the bathroom at the club https://t.co/jDpxQAvkBq

060716❤061818❤

I don’t want to get drunk, but I feel like I need to after losing you.

RT @spaghettiinbed: lmaooo my roommate drunk as f*ck on the news ... “the heritage really jumped out” https://t.co/NJ2KDuH4RI

Providence, RI

RT @JustInNotOut: Got drunk last night and made mac & cheese. Because I’m an adult. https://t.co/TtBBFhJiEK

North Carolina, USA

RT @TPerryf: Guess who’s drunk? Not mike https://t.co/D3PI0CNyfH

Stephenville, TX

@sofa_tomasic Drunk tweeting is your brand

Clemson, SC

Andrew Scheer & his bench-banging cronies have just put on the single most pathetic, un-charismatic display ever in… https://t.co/bT6Etwglsi

I just wanna get drunk or off 💊

Chicago, IL

@mary_swagdalene Not to mention, getting them off when you’re drunk will be a nightmare.

RT @CerromeRussell: I'm gon get drunk and shout James Baldwin quotes at white people https://t.co/iOEyX3W3gA

Springdale, MD

RT @JustInNotOut: Got drunk last night and made mac & cheese. Because I’m an adult. https://t.co/TtBBFhJiEK

somewhere in the world🎶🎵🎶🎚

@selsxmarie clumsy we- she was drunk af. the alcoholic jumped out

RT @thejonaxxboys: A drunk and angry Leandro is so fun to watch. Keep it up, jk. #JonaxxATHKab29